The View From Tanyard

TVFT- Sept 26-08

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, you find out you haven’t. I was listening to a talk radio show the other day. A guest on the show was a representative from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). These kooks are not my favorite people. They have elevated all animals to the same level as humans and think the rest of us should afford these animals the same rights that you and I have.

We do agree on one thing though. We both think there is a special place for animals. I just happen to think it is on the plate next to the mashed potatoes. However I digress.

The kook on this particular program was explaining PETA’s stand against Ben and Jerry of ice cream fame. PETA wants us to believe the world would be a better place if Ben and Jerry’s ice cream was made with human breast milk instead of cow’s milk. They believe dairy farms mistreat cows. They feed the dairy cows growth hormones to make them produce more milk than they would naturally. They also keep the cows bred and pregnant to keep the milk coming.

With my steel trap mind I saw problems with that right away. Dairies produce a gazillion gallons of milk from a half gazillion cows every day. All this milk is consumed quickly because everyone knows it won’t last more than a few days before spoiling. Now my first question is, just how many women would it take to supply this nation with enough milk for Ben and Jerry to make its ice cream? A human breast that is producing milk would pump how much milk? Ladies, help me out here. A few ounces a day? If that is anywhere near accurate it would take a whole lot of boobs to make a human dairy.

I’m sure you could find enough men to keep that many women pregnant and producing milk. But after that chore who would take care of that many pregnant women? All you married men with children know what I’m talking about. How many of you have been out in the middle of the night hunting something to satisfy a craving. You don’t dare not go.

And all those pregnant women will produce a lot of kids. The veal industry takes care of that with the cows. And PETA complains of cows being given hormones to increase milk yield. You know these women will have to be compensated for their milk. How long do you think it would be before women were taking hormones for the same reason?

I’m sure I haven’t covered all the down side of PETA’s program. Before they put a lot of time and effort into aggravating dairy farmers they should rethink this foolishness. A lot of people think PETA is an organization of fools. This program proves it.

And that is what it looks like from Tanyard.